Hard to Sleep

I bet

the days are getting longer

and you can’t seem to get through

like time’s holding you hostage

and you don’t know what to do

I bet it’s getting harder

to think clearly

so many things running through your mind

the chaos have you so leery

I bet it’s getting harder to sleep at night

you can’t even keep still

the recurring images when you close your eyes

have you fighting the urge to feel

I know I make it harder for you to sleep at night

I mean I used to make it harder for you to sleep at night in better ways

Lord knows you’ve seen better days

With me

And with me left your flair

remember when you would rest your head on

my chest as I combed my fingers through your hair

And with me left your smile

I could just give you a look and you’d go wild

And with me

it was different

so I know it’s hard to sleep at night

knowing you’ll see my face

cause with me

You had something you know you could never replace

Too Close For Comfort

Maybe we were too shallow to get this deep

maybe we became too much

too soon

we always danced on the line behind masks

yet somehow this time we crossed it

maybe we lost ourselves when we found each other

You became home

sweet home

on the road to recovery

we survived our coldest winters together

our souls touched and your winds blew my mind

as our flesh caressed

and maybe that was too much

too soon

the temporary bliss

There was never meant to be a “we”

but somehow you stole my heart and I’d let you again

I could tell from your stare

I saw me

and nothing else mattered

we were too close

too soon

LYFT

…sometimes inspiration comes and finds you!

I love writing poetry, but it’s tough doing so sometimes. And this may sound like an excuse, but I really need to be inspired to write (which is why my poems are spread so far in between). When I try to force myself to write something, it never comes out right, but I have to work on that. Anywho, recently I got a Lyft and per usual, I placed my earphones in and sat back to enjoy the ride home. I noticed my driver was talking to me, so I paused my music and he handed me a book. He explained to me what to do with the book and instantly I thought, “wow, this is dope and very interesting!”

I could just be late and not hip, but the book was called the “One Page Blackout Poems”. You pick a page of the book, read the text and blackout and keep certain words to create a poem. So here is what I came up with (the original is below):

I tiptoed

humming

clothes all over the floor in the soggy night

as if the night air had gone moldy

drained of color

blood sucked out by the night

so see-through

marked with dark bruises

Death of Me

It’s like you woke up one day and decided not to love me anymore

I thought that things were perfect

you were who I lived for

You’ve seen the dark of me as I hugged the light

You were supposed to be here with me

together

but you chose to fight

simultaneously for a different cause

I’ve fought for your acceptance

I’ve dressed up your flaws

I’ve invested in the experience of you that I’m not willing to share

Birthed your child

changed my name

it just doesn’t seem fair

I can admit defeat

you’ve beat my ego black and blue

Yet, that’s as colorful as I want my world to be

if it means I’ll be with you

It hurts to know that you’ve been searching for my price

risking it all

rolling dice

But at any cost, I’m trapped

with no desire to be free

So help me God

loving you will be the death of me

Last Night

Last night

I tossed and turned

longing for more

sleep keeps me awake

my dreams seem to haunt my reality

impotent to the rise and set of the sun

Unnerving

I no longer leave the door open

After last night

I’m afraid they’ll attempt to snatch my dreams

everything I’m working towards

my passion

my purpose

And I’ll have nothing

no reason to live in this hollow world

they’ll seize my fight

they’ll seize me

It’s alarming to know

they’re hoping

wishing

praying

you’ll relinquish

And leave the door open

Bad

You should feel bad

bad that you’re doing this to yourself again

you’re doing things all wrong again

where do I begin?!

why do you invest so much time in guys who just waste yours away?!

why do you continue to hold on when they give you so many reasons not to stay?!

what are you getting from it?!

besides fantasies of how it could be?!

what are you getting from it?!

besides false expectations of how it should be?!

they don’t even know you but they know you

and they swear they so real

but what are they even doing just to show you?!

so how do they really feel?!

tell me what they ever do for ya?!

what they ever really do for ya?!

and you thinking they gon change when they never gonna change cause their vision set in stone for ya

you should feel bad

bad that your worth has been quantified

and you sit back and allow it

I know you feel bad inside

but you gotta know you’re worth it

don’t ever let em steal your pride

You’re worth it!

Physics of Love

The same force has been exerted on us both

yet I’m the only one that fell

weight less to love

allowed it to hit me at a speed you never imagined to match

pulling for you as you pulled away from me

and that may be as equal as our connection gets

I fear that we’ve never been kinetic

and it went undetected

Is this the only movement that we’ve known?!

If so, inertia we are

yet no longer at rest

letting go should move us into the direction we belong

Don’t Be Cruel

We’ve come to you wide-eyed and vulnerable

optimistic of the many chapters we’ll began to write of our journeys through you

ready to take you on

yet, as our cover opens and our pages are exposed to the words that starts to diffuse through them

a feeling of bleakness develops in our core

you’re not fair

to know that some of us are so minor, yet so major to your brutality

predisposed to your worst because of your distorted psyche

because of genetics

dumbfounded to our faults in this matter

how were we to know that being born this way would lead us to such a cold and bitter fate?!

how would we have known that we would be dying to live with every breathe we take?!

How were we to know…

you’re unfair

cruel world

too afraid to birth life into you world

too afraid to even be me within you world

And this is our reality

chasing dreams only as far as you allow us

yet, the sky is the limit

and our words are flowing

our chapters are becoming plentiful as our words continue to formulate them nearing the end of our journeys

Let’s pray it’s unpredictable and that our stories don’t end the same way

in tragedy

Tonight, Love

Alone together
our speech was limited
but our eyes were courageous
saying things we wouldn’t dare to verbalize
I didn’t want you forever
it was mutual
yet for once, I don’t worry
the illicit warmth between us left me fearless
uninhibited
I didn’t want you forever
“Just make tonight feel like it”
an unorthodox night of passion
with no words, just actions
communicating only through our mind, body and soul
the sensation of the sheets on our skin intensifying our arousal
our bodies spoke
holding stimulating conversations throughout the night
in one night
we were everything we ever wanted
distant lovers compensating for their time apart
soulmates validating their place in each other’s hearts
then reality sets in as the sun sets in through the blinds
our feelings decrease with every increase of light surrounding us
now estranged lovers with morning
only thing lasting is the faint memory of one night
forever

Achilles’ Heel

As strong as you are, you would think nothing could faze you
nothing could penetrate your now renovated facade
experience improved
Titanic, you’re unsinkable right?!
Yet without a trace, you’re prone to the slightest glare, slightest touch
seeping through your impermeable exterior
Exposed
subjected to pain
Endangered…again
But maybe, not this time
This time, the twinge is dissimilar to any other
like dope to dopamine
flooding my brain
the residue trickling down through my bloodstream
My body defines gratification
Have you ever felt this good?!
I’d resigned this feeling from my thoughts
deeming it impossible, yet I craved it still
Never fully being in my grasp, now I hold it like a grudge
If this is my achilles’ heel, then my downfall must be heaven